Conversations With God

Dear Heavenly Father,
I'm coming to you to ask for a miracle for my Dad. Right now there are two big events that lie ahead of us. I'm asking you to make sure the first one goes we'll so that the second one is even possible. You know Dad had testing on Monday, you and I have been talking about it a lot. I need you to make sure that his results are good enough to get him accepted into the trial. You know I like to be upfront and honest with you so I'm not asking you for that, I'm telling you to do it. That might be disrespectful but my heart is broken and I need you to come through and fix it by fixing my Dad. I know you can appreciate me being real with you. You know how I'm really feeling so there's no reason to pretend in our conversations that I'm being polite and asking. Even if his tests didn't go we'll or his body wasn't in the shape it needed to be on Monday I need you to do a divine intervention and change the results. This needs to happen. Oh, and there's more. Not only do I need you to get him into the trial, I need you to make it be successful. I need you to cure him of cancer. Every drop of it gone, never to return. Again, I'm not asking you. I know you hold the whole world in your hand and that you are the Alpha and the Omega. You are the redeemer and the healer. I know that you can see what is ahead of us and what the outcome of this is for my Dad. I trust you and know that if it's not your plan to heal my Dad right now that you have a reason. I get that. But, you also gave me emotions. Love, anger, sadness, angst, hope. So I think it's only fair that despite my knowledge of what you're capable of, I still am not ok with the thought that you might not heal my Dad. I'm coming to you now to tell you I need you to heal him. If you don't do it I won't understand why. I don't see the future like you do and I don't think that I can take any more bad news. You have shown me a lot of things in the past few days, and you've told me that I need to have hope. Until a few days ago I have been very real with myself and with how cancer works. I have purposely calloused myself to not get my hopes up. But you have shown me verses on facebook, and t shirts. You even brought up hope through a small clip in Breaking Bad the other night. You have given me doubts and being real and made me start believing that it is ok to hope again. So, I'm going to need you to do your part. To show me why you wanted me to hope again. You're the one who made me open my heart and make it vulnerable again and I'm hoping that that means you're preparing it to be able to rejoice. And that it will be ready to believe the good news when I get the call that my Dad is healed. I'm not telling you to do this because I don't think that you will, I'm telling you because I know that you can.
Amen.